i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
