Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
