So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
