Dude my mom stole all your condoms
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
