Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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