so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
