I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So squirting runs in the family.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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