I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
