her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
