Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
