Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
