the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i've created a new STD.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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