it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize