Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
