Pappa wants mamma naked
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
