just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
