My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
