we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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