dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
