Me. At least after what I've been through.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
