So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i believe in u and ur pee
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
