that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
