Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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