....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
