where am i from again
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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