Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
