I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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