it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
