tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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