so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
