Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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