To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
