If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
