talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
why does every cop we meet know your name?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
