dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Randomize
