How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize