Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
