you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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