Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize