What did we do last night that was yellow?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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