i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
