Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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