Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
