the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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