Dual....:-)
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
