I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
