Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
