thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize