New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize