the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
