I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
