And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
