Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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