Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
