We're like a lot better than the average bears
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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