i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize