woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
