operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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