His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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