i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
