The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
